Love & Money Articles

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Click above to read the article published in Woman's World Magazine, describing my financial personality theory (reproduced with permission). 

Here are six reasons couples fight about money ... (Read more about how to Avoid Money Battles from the June issue of Personal Excellence).  

"Earning capacity is not a measure of masculinity. On this scale, Jennifer Aniston is much more masculine than the 9/11 rescue workers. There are many other ways your mate demonstrates both his masculinity and humanity." -- Jonathan Rich, Ph.D., Quoted in the New York Daily News, "Money Honeys" by Rebecca Louie, 11/04/2004.

“Some children who see their parents get into trouble because of debt will swear to never repeat those mistakes in their own lives. It’s not unlike people who grew up in alcoholic households and decide not to drink at all because of it.” -- Jonathan Rich, Ph.D., Quoted in The Calibre Papers, "Using Debt Strategically"

The Tale of Two Bankers

In THE COUPLE'S GUIDE TO LOVE AND MONEY I talk about the Gambler/Banker dimension of your money personality. Gamblers are the risk-takers, the ones who invest, speculate, and start their own businesses. Bankers are more conservative with their money. When two bankers get together in a relationship, big financial problems are unlikely. But then it is also unlikely that there will be much excitement or any dramatic financial successes. Well-calculated risk is often necessary to move ahead financially and in life. Year after year of conservative moves, playing it "close to the vest," and you start to find that others have, slowly but surely, passed you by.

When?

One chapter in THE COUPLE'S GUIDE talks about "Shared Dreams." Think about something you've always wanted to do, and then think about how you can work together with your partner to make that happen. Writing a book was the dream that I shared with my wife, Jodi. What's your dream? Start today by writing it down and mentioning it to your partner. Big, surprising, and exciting things can happen when you work together with someone you love.

When Self-Help Fails

I love self-help and how-to books. In fact, I learned most of what I needed to write a book and get it published by reading books. But there are limits. The last chapter of THE COUPLE’S GUIDE TO LOVE & MONEY is entitled “When Self-Help is Not Enough.” If you or your partner is addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling, then you need more than a book can offer. Other problems that can short-circuit self-help include personality disorders, mental illness, and a lack of commitment to the relationship. The last chapter of THE COUPLE’S GUIDE is filled the phone numbers and websites of places to find extra help.

Writing, Working, and Living

There were three frogs sitting on a lily pad and one decided to jump. How many were left? THREE! There’s a big difference between deciding and doing. If you’ve decided to improve your marriage, improve yourself, or improve your finances, the time to do it is now. If you’ve purchased THE COUPLE’S GUIDE, I’m delighted. But you won’t fully reap the book’s benefits until you pick up your pencil, crack open the book, and dive in!

Separate Accounts?

One of the questions which gets asked most often when I do radio shows is, "Should couples have separate bank accounts?"  There's no one "right" answer. My thought is that each member of the couple should have a certain amount of pre-agreed upon discretionary money that they spend without consulting the other. One way to do this is by keep some money in separate accounts. But separate accounts should be used as a way to organize money, not as a way to keep secrets.

Eight Types

In THE COUPLE'S GUIDE TO LOVE & MONEY I describe three personality dimensions: you're a Homesteader or a Pioneer, a Gambler or a Banker, and a Spartan or a Monarch. This scheme allows for eight (2 X 2 X 2) distinct money personalities. One is the Home & Hearth personality: SPARTAN - BANKER - HOMESTEADER. This person looks to someone else for financial support, but is nevertheless careful about money. She or he prefers a modest lifestyle and takes few financial risks. Click on Self-Test link to discover  your financial personality. You can also help to create the next edition of the Money Personality Scale by participating in the study on that page.